In AA meetings, you will occasionally encounter self-appointed “AA Police” who, in a seeming desperate desire to inflate their own self-importance in ludicrous and preposterous excess of its natural function, will try to regulate discussion topics, attitudes of attendees, types of words used, use of spiritual terms, nonuse of spiritual terms, and promote endless discussions of pure AA history ad-nauseam. Unfortunately, these types somehow think airing their own lengthy opinions is in some way helping others achieve sobriety; when in actuality, it is isolating certain addicts, pushing them away, and making them feel unwelcome. When you go to an AA meeting with a troubled heard, if you don’t share, you’re not there. Everyone should feel free to briefly discuss whatever is on their mind; with of course, a primary focus on what can be done to resist their alcoholic tendencies and obsessions.
It is important to remember this: Never promote the program ahead of the person. If anyone has a problem with the way in which people share their experience, strength, hope, and troubles, it is sometimes best to remain silent and resist prideful, intimidating remarks that could discourage them from sharing openly what is on their heart. You never know when someone is teetering on the edge of disaster, and maybe if they just come in the room and spill what is on their mind without fear of censorship, they might feel a little better and make it through another day clean and sober.
In many cases it is better to listen to another alcoholic or addict rather than listen to yourself speak to them. This is called working a program of selflessness, which is a reversal of our natural inclinations. And as usual, we come up against something which is simple but not easy. Everyone has a tendency to be right in their own eyes; and even if you ARE right, it takes more strength to listen to someone else with love, gentleness, kindness, meekness, and care.
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