Chapter 60

One goal of therapy is to find out what caused the problem in the first place. Psychotherapies are known as the talking therapies, and are based upon the notion that inappropriate thinking, either at the conscious or unconscious level, is the cause of the problem. Behavior therapies (including classical and operant conditioning) focus on the notions of inappropriate learning; that somewhere in our lives we learned inappropriate responses to stimuli.

In classical conditioning, the use of a process of systematic desensitization is the technique where you can learn to experience the previously anxiety provoking stimulus or situation while in a relaxed state, so your fear can be slowly minimized. This process is the behavioral modification technique of pairing a naturally occurring stimulus and response chain with a different stimulus in order to produce a response which is not naturally occurring (also known as Pavlovian or respondent conditioning). I believe therapeutic techniques of counter-conditioning can, for example, be used to assist an addict who must face his “old playground,” and not be triggered or emotionally disturbed to such a degree that his sobriety is threatened.

Behavior therapies based on operant conditioning (another behavior modification technique) basically work on the premise that you have a response which is followed by a reinforcement that increases the likelihood of a repeat of the behavior. Another therapeutic technique that I find interesting is a form of reductionist thinking, which is basically trying to get to the lowest level of what motivates us. This can be a helpful exercise for anyone struggling with a wide assortment of disturbing issues.

You may ask: Why all the discussion of psychology and its various behavior modification techniques? My answer is: Why not? There is no knowledge that we should fearfully regard as off limits. I consider any exploration into deeper knowledge as potentially advantageous, not to mention, it’s quite interesting. And often, addicts and alcoholics have many psychological problems outside their addiction issues (such as anxiety, stress, bewilderment, depression, despair, a sense of gloom…). There is a fundamental point in all of psychology though, and it is this: Any change that happens in your life must come from you and your own efforts. Although a psychologist or therapist can direct you toward truth and understanding, no one can do the work for you.

Psychology, in one sense, is not about getting rid of symptoms, or about waging war, or getting control of anything. Instead, it is about making peace with, by listening to and understanding, your symptoms. And curiously enough, once you listen to, rather than fear your symptoms, you might be inculcated with a sense of wisdom that could become a great blessing to your life. The light of truth, or depth of insight, however, is not necessarily sufficient in and of itself to bring about permanent behavioral change.

For initial psychological change to occur, you must react to insight with shock and alarm. Your unrepentant, blind heart must feel sorrow; sorrow for all the injury and pain that it has inflicted on others while trapped in its own blindness. You will no longer be able to blame others for the degree of your own misery. Instead, you can see the ugliness and evil of your own behavior for what it is. Shocked by the past, you can be motivated to change the present. And so it can be fairly deduced that one qualifying condition required to initiate lasting psychological change is: Sorrow.