Chapter 4

Within addiction and other life-controlling problems, anger can be used as a protective strategy – a kind of armor. Anger can shield from many incoming assaults; whether the fears of assault are real or imagined. Anger is often invoked instead of being open, bold, and honest with ourselves, others, and situations. In addiction, anger protects complacency, rejects change, and justifies any means. In effect, anger shields one from change.

Until the pain to remain becomes greater than the pain to change, you never will. By remaining in unhealthy environments for whatever reason, you justify and perpetuate a belief system you have experienced as destructive. This pain should illicit a flight response, and should seem more clear-cut than reality manifests. Perhaps misery does indeed love company.

Exaggerated grumbling, fault finding, and blame-gaming to avoid taking responsibility is a self-defense technique. One is thus angrily protecting his right to choose: how to live, how to act, and how to find pleasure. In spite of how it affects others –and even through horrific proofs of failure, persistence in this is a kind of selfish living, which is central to nearly all consequent troubles.

Complacency and self-contentedness is comfortable. Change is uncomfortable. True honesty is uncomfortable. If one seeks comfort at first, truth may be evaded; if one seeks truth first, comfort may be found in the end. Change must be embraced as necessary, and truth must be heralded above all else; therefore, in order to be free one must honestly seek truth to find comfort. Those contemplating leaving an unhealthy addiction or situation need to make a complete break –and flee.

It is interesting to note that discovering blameworthiness does not uncover solutions –the usual direction of that path is intemperance (lack of moderation), which leads of course to overindulgence. Overindulgence can lead to obsessive addictive behavior, which when fully consummated, leads to death. Maybe that is the knowledge no one wants to risk having.