Chapter 33

In order for any person to be well, he must feel love and acceptance. His contributions to others should be considered important no matter how miniscule or trivial. For, what is superficial trivia to one may be trampling upon sacred ground of the heart of another. We find this helpful message in Philippians 2:3 “… consider others better than yourselves.” (NIV)

Along with virtues of loving-kindness toward others, we find self-control is another difficult ideal to aspire to at times. For example, being eager to rush into judgment without investing any effort to collect sufficient details to even make a clear opinion (much less a judgment) is imprudent, dangerous, impulsive, and reckless. Excitedly spreading rumors with limited or no factual data is another type of irresponsible rush to judgment, and may reveal the indolent, insensitive, egocentric motives of a heart bent on evil.

Within self-control, we sometimes find difficulty adjudicating the appropriate, necessary time-interval between acting and reacting. Consider this: Between stimulus and response is a space. In that space lays our freedom and power to choose our response. In these very choices lay our growth and happiness. If we use our spaces wisely, we can experience quality change from the inside out. And remember - effective and lasting change must always come from the inside out, not from the outside in.

While these general platitudes are useful to anyone, addicts must pay particular attention to self-improvement in the areas involving human interaction. It may well be said that knowledge is a mind that is accurately informed. Christ changes men who then change their environment; and the real estate between our ears sometimes needs the most attention. If we ever avoid reflecting on these inward truths by justifying our actions or using rationalizations, we protect ourselves from the experience of change, and cling voraciously to some spiritual semblance of false hope.

Here is the creed I now try to live by (and maybe this will help my readers): I am trying to find that slight glitter of light in a very dark world. I am slowly learning that temptations are suggestions, not commands. I am accepting more responsibility. I am becoming more fully human (as opposed to the animalistic, self-centered, survival-of-the-fittest mentality that I had in addiction). I’m trying to help folks eliminate from their lives the pain over which they have control. And I’m trying to help folks see that the single-minded desire to be respected at the expense of honor is a fast track to misery. I have had to learn many of these lessons the hard way; please learn from my mistakes and grow into who God wants you to be.