Chapter 11

At some point in recovery, one has to be willing to forsake the perpetual, psychotherapeutic ruminating about his past and reach out with courage to build a stronger future. The development of moral fiber with greater resilience to rampant wickedness will ensure long-term survival. Some blame their unwillingness or incapacity to develop moral fiber on psychiatric or psychological problems. Without doubt, anyone familiar with addiction knows full well that deep psychological problems are usually pre-existent or arise as a result of that lifestyle.

It is, however, interesting to note that what so many people mistake for psychological problems - may really be a reluctance or unwillingness to do the work it takes to become someone notable, purposeful, and suitable that would enjoy and attract others with those same admirable attributes. To put it plainly, engaging in full self-reformation is hard. It is thoroughly arduous to move from the familiar (no matter how bad) to the unfamiliar (no matter how good). It takes work and time.

So much phony, yet popular psychological beliefs give the impression that people with difficult or ugly histories are somehow ineradicably connected, and discernibly marked; hence the perpetual identification with survivor-victim, adult child of something or other, and lifelong membership in a never-to-be-recovered group. I worry about how the misuse and overuse of the aforementioned is actually helping people unconstructively fixate in the negative and in yesterday, and in the mere “understanding” of why they aren’t being and doing more with their lives. You must understand that the ultimate power of perception is not only recognizing your wrongs, but also growing and learning from them. You have new choices to make, so initiate courage and move on at some point. Regardless of past circumstances, remember that your perception, adaptation, and action are in your power now.

The modern, therapeutic trend of alleviating most of all personal responsibility from the equation of behavioral choices is simply about making sure nobody feels dire or hopeless. We must not forget that not only is pain very motivating, but that guilt and shame are necessarily painful. For these reasons alone, it is vital to learn from our mistakes, and then be eager to courageously change and grow.